24
Feb
11

Sagnasty Panty Thief gets a year

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SAGINAW, MI – A man who authorities say broke into a Saginaw-area woman’s home and was caught naked from the waist down holding a pair of pink panties has been sentenced to a year in jail.
Saginaw County Circuit Judge Darnell Jackson this week sentenced 35-year-old Jayson K. Berde for second-degree home invasion and resisting and obstructing a police officer causing injury. Berde earlier pleaded guilty in the case. In exchange, an initial charge of first-degree home invasion was dropped.
Authorities say he broke into a woman’s home March 17 in Saginaw County’s Thomas Township, and apparently knew her through an ex-boyfriend.
Police caught him nearby, and an officer suffered minor abrasions trying to apprehend him.

I don’t want to live in a world where blacking out and stealing your buddy’s ex-girlfriend’s panties on St. Patrick’s Day is a crime. People should be exempt from all misdemeanors committed on that day. Isn’t it your God given right to use St. Patty’s as an excuse for getting incoherently hammered and doing something preposterous? This is just standard procedure if you ask me. Give him a fine, maybe slap him with a restraining order. But a year in jail? Come onnnn, mann! 20 bucks says someone I know does something equally as creepy and twice as hilarious this year, but come March 18 its water under the bridge…
For the record:
The Coalition not only appreciates behavior like this, we encourage it. Otherwise what would we blog about? You can only post so many stories about the Pistons losing, Miggy drinking, how many consecutive Cups the Wings will win and who we think the Lions will draft. So keep it up Michigan. America. We need your shortcomings in order to provide the people with verbal porn.
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1 Response to “Sagnasty Panty Thief gets a year”


  1. February 25, 2011 at 6:41 pm

    >those panties look like the girl's from spring break lol


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