14
Mar
11

Cindy Crysby Literally Grows a Vagina

PITTSBURGH (AP)—Penguins center Sidney Crosby(notes) returned to the ice on Monday for the first time since missing 29 games with a concussion. But if you’re looking for the Pittsburgh captain’s return date, it’s still anyone’s guess.
“I have no clue,” Crosby said. “I’m not thinking too far ahead as far as a time frame. I just want to get better. This is part of the way to do that. I’m just kind of taking that step and seeing how it goes.”
Crosby, who last played on Jan. 5 in an 8-1 win over the Tampa Bay Lightning, practiced in full gear for about 15 minutes at the Consol Energy Center. It was a light workout. He participated in a skating drill around some cones, and took a few shots on net, as well.

WAAAAAHHHHH! My head still hurts. Waaaahhhh! I can only skate for 15 minutes. 
15 FUCKING minutes? Is this guy serious? I thought he’s been on the ice for weeks now. I just figured it wasn’t news worthy, which this story definitely isn’t. Why would I post such a lackluster story? I needed to point out that I don’t think this guy is a pussy just because I’m a Red Wings fan. He has sat out almost 4 months for a concussion. Not even morning skates with the boys. ZERO balls on this guy. Lady Gaga’s clit/dick is bigger than Sid’s. Like he can’t even skate? Fuck you! 
I sorta understand not playing because you could Eric Lindros your career away and all that borderline pussy jazz, but you’re not even skating? You just started riding the bike a week ago? Take a seat Sidney, and stay there ’til next October. Wouldn’t want you to break a nail.      
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