Archive Page 3

31
Mar
11

Happy Birthday Mr. Hockey!

The Red Wing great and NHL Hall of Famer, Gordie Howe, turns 83 years young today. My one personal experience with Gordo is when I was about 11. I was up in Traverse City where Gordie resides and owns a restaurant. I was at the restaurant, “Gordie Howe’s Tavern and Eatery” with my parents, and in walks Mr. Hockey.  I distinctly remember the aura this guy gave off when he walked in the door. Conversation stopped; Mouthes agape. He sat down at his regular table that was the only one open in a packed joint, with a half hour wait. I remember when you put you elbows on the table they would throw you in the penalty box and I always used to do it because I was a selfish brat and thought it was cute. I remember Gordie coming up to the box and he said, “I’m going to teach this youngster a lesson! You don’t put your elbows on the table. This is how you use your elbows!” He proceeded to elbow me in the face harder than you’re probably supposed to elbow an 11 year old, but no one cared. The man was and still is a fucking superstar. I shook his hand and he signed my family and I an autograph or two. He went right back to his scotch and the company of his wife. I’ll never forget that day.

Check out the good ol’ days

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31
Mar
11

Bollyhood- The Epic Voyage of An International Man of Mystery: Volume 2

I don’t think either of us has the time change down yet. I have the most random conversations with the Intl Man of Mystery. This is what I wake up to, hungover, on a Sunday morning. He could probably get in some sort of trouble with this so from here on out he will be known as IMM (International Man of Mystery). Enjoy this exchange about the sexy parties.

11:01am EST
MdotNetz: hey
IMM: whats up
MdotNetz: shit u?
IMM: hanging out with some hookers
MdotNetz: hookers eh?
IMM: yeah. no joke. I don’t plan on indulging though
MdotNetz: what are you doing talking to me on facebook while theres strippers present?
                  GO FUCK ONE
IMM: haha hookers are different than strippers
          these girls are hookers
MdotNetz: I understand that
                  insert yourself asap and tell me the story immediately after
                  when else would you ever pay for sex?
IMM: thats a good point
MdotNetz: r they hot?
IMM: yeah, they’re alright
          the eastern europeans are hot.
          i would really consider dabbling in one of those
MdotzNetz: are you on fb chat on ur phone?
IMM: no, I’m not
          lot of chinese girls
          I’ll skype you into the next hooker party
MdotNetz: hahah this is so random
                  u better!
                  is anyone fucking them?
IMM: Haha whenever the guys come in from afghanisatn and iraq, they all get hookers
          not at the moment.
          This is on the reg bro. I’m so used to it now.
MdotNetz: you gotta make it happen
IMM: just drinking a beer, and working, with hookers around
MdotNetz: this is so awesome
IMM: haha
          alright, i’m going to go make a steak
          some hooker made us some dumplings
          they were freaking awesome, but i’m still hungry
MdotNetz: ur unreal. be easy my friend
IMM: talk to you soon bro

Dumplings!? Fucking dumplings! What kind of Dream World fuckin’ Dyrdek Fantasy Factory do you live in? The only thing better than dumplings are free, hooker dumplings. Preferably after she fellates you. Baby steps with this one. Too bad he has an above average sense of self respect or this story could have been legen … wait for it … dary!

29
Mar
11

Transition from MTV to WWE

I really wanted to get this one off my chest while the wrestling topic was hot. You should all know by now I have a dream of wrestling in the WWE. And I am just green with jealous rage right now knowing that C-Bus got to see the Rock at Raw last night and I wasn’t so fortunate when they came to the D.
Well apparently the quickest road to Wrestlemania is to spend a few solid months getting hammered on an MTV series. Yeah, it’s pretty standard to have celebrities and/or athletes attend and participate in big wrestling events. And I can’t blame Vince for going with Snooki. Jersey Shore is a cash cow and she’s probably the most recognizable celeb not named Charlie Sheen at the moment.
But this bitch is bout to get her little ass eaten up. Steak Sauce. Snooks can hardly see over the ropes. This has potential to be one of the worst celeb matches in WWE history; and possibly one of the worst story lines since Mae Young got pregnant by Mark Henry and she gave birth to a hand.
But it gets even better. Headlining Wrestlemania is The Miz, and his ever-so-genuine catchphrase “I’m Awesome.” Does anyone else know that 8 years ago this kid was some obnoxious shit on The Real World.
Obviously he packed on some pounds (roids) and took a few rasslin’ lessons, but that doesn’t make his journey any more legit. He was on the last season of Tough Enough in 2004 and I distincly remember him begging the fans to choose him as the winner. Like the dude was almost crying. And now he’s champion?!? I wish the road to the show was that easy. Just get on a reality show and blackout til people recognize you for it. If I could have an MTV camera follow me and some bros around CMU on Martin Luther King weekend, we’d be the next NWO by now. It’s just not in the cards.
All-in-all, I think we’re shaping up for an above average Wrestlemania this year. Undertaker, HHH, HBK, Stone Cold and The Rock should bring back that little extra “umph” that’s been missing from this biz for quite some time now. In the meantime I’ll be getting teenagers pregnant, and when the cameras arrive, its all about “The Irish Creamer” Steve Addington.
29
Mar
11

Turning into a Wrestling Blog

Oh Well, To answer to your post below, Michael Cole is in a glass box because a few weeks ago he was brutally assaulted by stone cold, who then drank 50 beers and spilled 95% of each one. He got the shit stunned out of him, and felt unsafe at work so they ERECTED a glass cage for him to sit in.

NOW: To my points, Whats up with finishing moves? The rock dropped a peoples elbow last night and it didn’t even phase the Miz, shouldn’t it have left him incapacitated for a few minutes? He just shot right up and got thrown out of the ring. Back in my day, that move would have stopped the heart and left everyone in awe. I guess his elbow must have gotten dull? Then Cena drops the bomb on The Rock and he couldn’t move for 15 minutes. WWE needs to get their shit together on finishing moves.
28
Mar
11

Smell it

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28
Mar
11

I FUCKING LOVE HBK

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

28
Mar
11

Ok one of the announcers is in a glass box, Im not entirely sure why but my best guess is for his own safety. Where is HBK someone is in need of a little sweet chin music
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry




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