Workout of the Month

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With all this talk about machines taking over the human race, UFO’s checking us out, and the inevitable demise of the US monetary system if Ron Paul doesn’t get to do his thing over the next 8-10 years, I’m terrified. That’s why I’m gonna get jacked. I’ll be a physical specimen that artificial intelligence and money(or lack thereof) cannot overcome. I’ll start with this work out, on the regular, for the next 90 days. Also, for those of you who are too ignorant or merely overlooking the potential of the aforementioned scenarios, at least you can have a killer beach body come May. Ignorance is bliss.

Machine Outsmarts Humans on Jeopardy; All Hope is Lost

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Sooo did anyone NOT see Terminator? Because I’m pretty sure this is how the whole premise of the story starts. Let’s build a computer so smart that it can think for itself….

IBM’s supercomputer WATSON just shit on Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter, outscoring them by over $25K. The two most impressive geniuses to ever play the show are now at the mercy of the machines. I can actually see news headlines being direct quotes from T2: “Human Decision Making is Removed from Military Tactics,” and “Skynet Becomes Self Aware on August 29, 2011 at 9:18 PM Eastern Time.” Doesn’t this worry anyone else? Or am I the only one with a phobia of being overrun by our computers, cars and cell phones? Well I’ll tell ya one thing: I will NEVER be a slave to the machines! Not even if there’s a FIRE!

On a positive note, however, we (the humans; because we all need to stand together now more than ever) were able to outsmart WATSON on the final Jeopardy question. “Toronto.” Get real WATSON. This is AMERICA! That’s where the real war heroes reside….

…and as I am one of the first to insult the machine, I’m probably one of the first bodies to be harvested…

America: My Home and The Best Damn Place on Earth

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I would like to quickly introduce myself to set up our new relationship.
To me, the only thing sexier than a nice pair of long, tanned legs in stilettos is a woman who, in the 2012 presidential race, is voting for Ron Paul.

Politics, my friends, act as the hip bone of America and thanks to old people everywhere we know what needs to happen with aging hip bones, they get replaced.

Consider me the Dr. Drew to a generation of youth who are out of jobs and out of touch on what it means to be an American:

The ability to do whatever the hell we want.

So grab a beer and if they’re available, a pair of boobs; lets talk politics you American son of bitch.

Tooth Fairy Proves Himself to be Real; Millions (and Millions) Shit Their Pants

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Whenever I recieve a text from a friend that says “turn on Raw NOW!” I don’t hesitate. If you don’t understand my passion for sports entertainment and my dream of being a tag team champion then this post isn’t for you.

At about 11:05 last night The Most Electrifying Man in ALLLL of Entertainment made his much anticipated return on Raw in Anaheim, CA. I’d be willing to bet some fan in that arena left with a very dirty pair of drawers last night. I, myself, was close to shedding a tear of joy. The Rock will host Wrestlemania this year and I’ll be damned if we’re not throwing a Westlemania party for that reason alone.

Were the Disney movies getting old? Faster wasn’t as bad ass as his agent had thought? Did Vin Diesel and Paul Walker cast too big a shadow in Fast Five for Dwayne Johnson to overcome? Whatever the reason may be, only one thing matters: he’s back! The jabronie beatin, pie eatin, take your foot off the brake and step on the gas, comin back to whoop everyone’s candy Ass; The ROCK, the people’s champ has returned!

As Rod Allen might say; I smell what you’re cookin big fella…

For Your Health

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Occasionally we might drop you some tips on how to stay healthy and become a better member of society because if you’re unhealthy and you die you can’t read the blog and then you’re useless to us. If you get fired from your job, you can’t afford internet and again, useless. So check out the links, enjoy the video, and without even trying your life GPA will significantly increase.

Men’s Health All-Time Best Tips

100 Best Fitness Tips

The Scooter Bandit

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Michigan – A Pontiac woman’s alleged theft attempt was foiled this week when her motorized cart became stuck at a Rochester Hills Meijer. Jerrie Perkins, 30, is charged with unarmed robbery, resisting and obstructing a police officer and second-degree retail fraud. Her bond was set at $15,000 by 52-3 District Magistrate Nick Camargo during arraignment Thursday. Investigators said Perkins was attempting to leave the Rochester Road Meijer with more than $600 worth of stolen electronic merchandise when her cart got stuck and she was unable to drive out the door. The door alarm was activated when Perkins passed through it around 9:20 p.m. Tuesday, and Meijer employees approached her asking for a receipt for the items. Perkins — approximately 5 foot 2 and 400 pounds — shoved a loss prevention officer and hit her in the face, according to the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office. A sheriff’s deputy arrived and asked Perkins to put her hands behind her back, but she “cursed at the deputy, balled her right hand into a fist and took a fighting stance,” according to a press release from the Sheriff’s Office. The deputy pulled his Taser and told Perkins to put her hands behind her back, but Perkins brought her fist up over her head and looked directly at the deputy. The deputy Tasered Perkins, who then complied with the deputy’s commands and was taken to jail.


I’ve seen it a hundred times. The Joe Louis fist. The Renaissance Center. 400 pounders scooter shoplifting. It’s a staple of Metro Detroit. If I had to guess I would’ve said this happened in a WalMart and not Meijer, but to me they’re one in the same. The derelicts of society fighting for the lowest prices on the daily, and they’ll gladly get tased to have a shot at 10 for $10 Faygo 2 liters. Now stealing the aforementioned delicious beverage is where you think it would cross the line to most. Just another day here in the D. I wouldn’t even do a double take at an over-weight person stealing 60 Faygo 2 liters, let alone $600 worth of electronics. She probably stuffed GPSs, laptops and knock off Meijer brand iPods under her fupa rolls. The real hero here is the man-made security metal detector. The mentally disabled/ 75+ year old receipt checker sensed a stuffed fupa, but gave this lady the nod, wink, and glare that says “I respect your grind, heffer,” and was ready to call it a day. But NO! the metal detector wouldn’t have it. Jumped out of nowhere, took the hit, and put it’s integrity on the line for the good of the Meijer bottom line. I wouldn’t stand in front of a 400-pound cat woman zipping over towards me at 5 MPH, while I’m trying to protect the exit like a linebacker on a goal line stand. Just another day in the life of a metal detector . . . You’re Welcome!